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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Can you give us a demo?
So that we have something to practice off of?
Yeah.
Quack Quack, Quack Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack.
When all four of them begin going Quack, Quack, Quack.
OK, stop, stop!
What does the Rat King prefer to be called?
The Rat King.
So not like your warship or anything like that.
He just prefers Rat King.
You guys could probably step it up, but not.
There are so many other adjectives out there.
I'm going to try this smile business and see about expanding our reach and maybe creating
friendships at the same time.
Yeah, and you know what, if you want to extend your reach, they can help you with your business
venture as well.
I had no idea that these resources were available to someone such as I.
Oh, they are for everyone in the dock ward.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast and I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More and
if I try and make the same mouth movements as Amy, it throws me off.
You shouldn't be making my mouth movements, I'm making your mouth movements.
This is very strange.
With me today is Amy More.
Yes I am.
I play Sullivan Sleight, a lightfoot halfling rogue.
Tom was making fun of you there.
I wasn't even looking, I missed it.
Yep, watch the playback.
Also with me, Carla Max dead.
That's me.
I play Glim, a dragonborn pAlydin and Tom Laird.
Yeah, I play Moot.
He's a half or wild magic sorcerer.
How's everybody doing today?
Good.
Doing pretty good.
I have wine.
Oh, then Amy's doing the best.
Some of us are doing better than the others.
Maybe where we're always having wine might be over on Patreon.
We don't know what your beverages are.
But when you're a patron, where we've got all those sweet, sweet rewards and bonus
episodes, but also you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Jack Green.
Thanks Jack.
Thanks Jack.
Thank you very much.
Thank you Jack.
I like how monosyllabic his name is.
It's very powerful.
Jack Green.
It's a very powerful name.
Don't you know who I am?
Jack Green.
Jack Green.
Oh yeah.
So that's a power name.
So you should pull that from the episode, Jack, and just use it as like your ringtone.
Don't you know who I am?
Jack Green.
Jack Green.
Yes please.
Maybe.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast so you can go check out all that sweet stuff
over there.
Please do.
We would love it.
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D.
The three of you, Moot, Glim and Sully, as we now know, are in Waterdeep.
And since the last time we saw you, there was a rather large ceremony that took place.
One dedicated to those that saved the realm.
The Decimators of Dragons, as well as all the many hundreds of thousands of men and
women across Faerun who fought against the Cult of the Dragon.
Now we're not going to go through the whole ceremony with you three there, but give me
a little sense of how you took this whole ceremony in.
It was just in like a big kind of village square, correct?
In the streets, kind of like a procession.
So the description that I gave is at the castle Waterdeep is where Lady Leral Silverhand
and Lord Neverember and all the other heads of different factions were set up and giving
their speeches.
So the actual view of them in real world terms was put up on big jumbo screens, jumbo trons,
kind of all through the city, using magic of sorts, of course, in our world.
But people were all through the streets of Waterdeep watching and taking this in
and giving their thoughts and prayers to those that had lost their lives and those
that had come back victorious.
I was probably in a tavern but on a terrace, like outside, drinking a beer, watching the
big screen.
I'm keeping it low key.
I'm not running through the streets.
I'm not, you know, I'm just kind of keeping it down low.
Now Sully, we know, is or was rather a member of the Cult of the Dragon.
So this is, I mean, you would have heard a few days prior, at least a couple days
prior that the Cult of the Dragon lost the battle.
What kind of feeling and emotion is Sully going through knowing that the people
of Faerun were victorious against them?
Well, I think Sully's super happy about it, but I think he's really ashamed.
He never wants the secret to be out.
He doesn't want to be grouped or lumped in with those people who did all that,
even though he feels somewhat like he would deserve it, but also feels very,
I don't know, he's a little bit torn.
He's very much excited that they've lost, that the cult lost, but at the same time,
he's a little worried about what this could mean for him.
And if he's in the clear now or not, he's kind of sitting on pins and needles.
I think he's, he doesn't want to get, let himself get too, too excited.
I think Glim is, of course, very inspired by all of this because, you know,
she has a destiny to save the world.
So she probably is standing in front of one of those screens and just like staring,
crying, like very intent, not doing really anything else except for kind of taking it in
and really feeling like deep feelings of loss, even though, you know,
she didn't know any of these people personally.
It hadn't really affected her where she was in her isolated little community or anything.
But the sadness at having lost people, but more importantly,
like how powerful it feels that everybody has come together and risen up.
And, you know, there's like a lot of love feelings around.
Everyone is so happy, even though they are also sad, but they've been victorious.
So she's just like crying.
Kind of similar to Glim's experience.
Moot kind of is in the big like town square in front of one of the viewing screens.
And he's just kind of looking around and noticing that there's like all different
like races and creeds all in one place, like taking in the same thing.
Like he sees tieflings and half orcs and halflings and, you know,
everybody in between that are all just like are like sharing the one moment together.
It's a couple days or two or three days after the ceremony.
Since you've been here, the streets have been packed.
Camps have been set up in and around the outlying area of Waterdeep.
None of you three had been to Waterdeep previously, I think we had established,
unless I'm incorrect.
Sounds right.
Correct.
So this is the only way that you've known Waterdeep is full to the brim with people.
So it's two or three days after and a large percentage of the people,
now that some of the forces have been have come back and gotten become rested.
They are starting to take people back out in large caravans
to the cities where they originally came from,
to the towns to help rebuild and get a foot back up and get started back with life again.
You three have been here for a couple of weeks now.
Where are you staying?
I think you had previously mentioned something to the effect of Bahamut, Temple of Bahamut.
Yeah, I mean, that's like my whole thing is that I am always welcome there.
So I feel like I even invited these guys also to stay there with me.
Is that accurate?
I remember maybe me saying that, but I don't know that I have the authority to do that.
They were probably too kind to say that we weren't really allowed to come and stay with you,
but they were just like, yeah, that's fine.
So you've been there for a couple of weeks.
And as far as temples go, this one is very modest.
In fact, in order to find it, it took the three of you quite a long time
and asking around to many different people because it's only marked by a small wooden sign
that is worn incredibly with age that still that holds a very worn image of the symbol of Bahamut on it.
Inside, there's only a few rooms, probably six to eight rooms.
There's the one main chamber where people come in to to pray
and to speak with the priest or priestess there.
And we're going to say that during this time, Glim, you might not have had much one on one time that you've set up your Zumba.
You've you've gone out and you've stopped the Rat King.
You've taken in this this large ceremony.
But you haven't had a lot of one on one time with the main priestess there, Kelbis Krombeak.
She is a bronze dragonborn.
It's it's early morning and you get up and you come downstairs and she is.
Just arranging some of the pews and putting out some some leaflets and just getting ready for the day.
OK, well, I'm going to help. I'll just like help grab whatever needs distributing and doing while while she's, you know, working as well.
She notices you and says, oh, oh, thank you. Thank you, Glim.
Always so happy to help. How how are you today?
I'm I'm quite well. It's it's it's a much lighter feeling in the city.
Now that. Now that people are headed back to their homes under such such a victory.
Yeah, it was I've never experienced anything like that before, just all of those people, and it was it was really incredible.
Magical, some might say. Yeah, yeah, it felt spiritual for sure.
What? It seems like an awful lot of the people that have been here are just going to get to go back home now.
Yes, that is that is what it seems. The city will go back to regular working order and hopefully everybody else.
Hopefully their towns and villages aren't are too too far set back.
Well, it seems like at a time like this, everyone's going to be really willing to work super hard and work together to get everything kind of sorted out back in their homes.
That is the idea. And from the sounds of the plans, they're kind of going city to city.
So helping the first one, everybody in the caravan and then moving along.
So. If everybody comes together, which they have done so far, it should go smoothly and.
Life would be back to normal, at least as normal as it can be.
And life will go back to normal here at the temple, too.
That is the hope. It's it's there's been many people through here, much more than usual.
We don't usually get a large amount of traffic.
And what does normal mean here? I mean, it's a pretty small place.
Yes, yeah. Those that follow Bahamut aren't particularly about flaunting or drawing too much attention to themselves.
They don't usually stick to one place for a great amount of time.
They want to go out and do good and carry the name as you as you know.
Well, that Bahamut, he's a real he's a real.
Do it yourself, kind of. You know, he wants everybody to to do their own thing and take care of themselves.
And it's part of why I love him so much.
Bahamut, the DIY God, some might say he wants to make it right.
No, no one would say that.
No, you shouldn't compare Mike Holmes to Bahamut.
Blasphemy.
Well, I really appreciate you letting me and my friends stay here.
Of course, you are always welcome.
How long do you think you will be here?
And where where where are you expected or where do you plan to go next?
Well, I mean, I've told you about my destiny, so I have some things I need to do to accomplish that.
But I don't know that I'm quite ready yet.
I think me and my friends, if they'll come with me, maybe we need to go.
Experience a little bit more of the world before it's before it's time to, you know, go find my destiny.
Right.
Do you have any suggestions or do you think I should stay here and study more or?
I mean, you are certainly welcome to stay here, and I'm more than happy to impart whatever wisdom that I have upon you.
You mentioned previously that your next major step in your destiny is traveling to Timanthor.
Yeah, I mean, the first part of my destiny was that I needed to find a halfling and then half orc.
I mean, I found I think I found my people.
It sure seems that way.
So I guess my next stop is to go to Timanthor and find the Citadel and pledge my oath, you know, to really,
really kind of go steady with Bahamut, really make things serious, you know.
You see her face go from a slight smile to a bit more serious.
And she says, my dear, what what do you know or what have you been told so far of Timanthor and specifically the capital?
Just that I have to go there.
It's the birthplace of the Dragonborn and I need to go and swear my oath.
But if you mean logistics and practicalities, not very much.
Well, let me let me do what I can to prepare you for what you might expect to see there.
That would be incredible. Thank you.
My fear is that it may have been slightly romanticized a bit for you.
The Citadel that you speak of is probably no more than what you see before you hear.
Timanthor and Gerod-Thamar specifically are a very militaristic place.
Religion doesn't stand very highly among the Dragonborn from from our homeland, if you say.
How long has your village been gone from Timanthor?
Oh, gosh, I mean, a long, a long, long time, you know, nobody.
I don't think anybody there even has relatives, you know,
like grandparents or great grandparents that had been there themselves.
So, right. Many generations.
The Dragonborn there, specifically, and the majority of them believe that there are no Dragon Gods.
What? No, where do they think we came from then?
They believe, and there are a few, obviously, who do believe more as we do.
They believe that the Dragonborn were created on another planet,
another plane, mirror to Toriel, which is where we are now.
Created by dragons and by the supposed gods that they call themselves as slaves.
And were used as such for work, for battle,
for sustenance, if so needed.
And when the two worlds, Abier and Toriel, collided, Timanthor split to Toriel.
And the majority of the Dragonborn population still to this day holds that value very high.
Hmm. Well, that sounds like a sad way to live, but I guess I understand why they would be,
you know, military and strong, and I guess they're awfully afraid that they might be enslaved again.
Exactly. So the citadel you seek is in Gerod-Thammar.
And to properly pledge yourself to Bahamut, you may travel there.
But know that your view of Dragonborn, specifically from your village,
might be shaken when you arrive.
I understand. I mean, thanks for warning me.
We'll go to Moot.
Yeah.
Where do we find Moot?
Moot is finally walking back to the Temple of Bahamut after his last shift, roofing, baubles and such.
Worked off all that. All that.
Well, I mean, you might not be done working there, but you've at least roofed it.
I've at least done that job.
Yeah. During your time in Waterdeep, how often have you been casting spells?
Not very often, and it's been very small things like Mage Hand.
You know, if I forgot something down on the ground when I climbed up the ladder to get up on the roof,
then I just, you know, crab clawed up to me.
Never wanted a real spell, like a spell to be as real as I do right now.
Because that feels very like, you know, you get upstairs, you realize you left your water downstairs, your phone.
I use it all the time.
Just well, I don't know if mine would look like a crab claw, but yeah.
No, I think they have to look like crab claws, Amy.
I'm pretty sure.
I think I read that in the player's handbook somewhere.
Oh, yeah. OK, then.
You're thinking back on one of these times when something odd happened.
Roll me a percentile die or percentile dice.
Well, yeah, there's the two of them.
We are looking at a 10 and a 10, so 11.
That should be an 11.
How tall is Moot?
I think I've said somewhere around six feet in the past.
OK, roll me a D10.
OK.
That is a seven.
So what were you doing?
Was it just Mage Hand?
And when did this happen?
Yeah, I was just casting Mage Hand to bring up a hammer that I had left down on the ground.
Perhaps today?
Yeah, like right at the last part of my shift.
You did this.
You were bringing up the hammer.
You cast Mage Hand.
You're bringing up the hammer and you felt odd.
You couldn't quite place it.
And when you left,
you said goodbye to Bombera, who really wasn't paying much attention.
She looked up, kind of looked confused at you and
said, well, we'll see you.
We'll see you on Monday or whenever the next day of the week in Faerun it is.
You have a good weekend.
And she went back to her book, not really paying too close attention.
You are where are you headed?
Back to the Temple of Bahamut.
You get a very distinct sense.
How am I going to do this?
Because this is everything seems to destroy your world.
No, I'm not trying to destroy your world.
I'm just trying to figure out when Moot would pay attention to this.
Well, it depends on what happened to him, right?
Yeah, no, things, things seem bigger.
Just everything seems like it's just a little bit out of place.
OK, like he put on a new prescription in your eyes,
like need that time to adjust to it.
Sure. Yeah, we could say that.
More like Mario getting hit with a with a shell.
Now, pipes are a lot taller, a lot looser.
Yeah. You're walking back down the street
and you see Sully coming up towards you.
I'm going to tell you what happened to him and then you can describe what you see.
I give a wave and a the Sully.
I walk up to Moot and I.
Just kind of take a moment and stare at him.
What's what's up?
Did you do something different with your hair?
No, I mean, I think it's the same as it was before, and he kind of grabs his hair.
New clothes?
No, no, I've I've only have like the two outfits and this is one of them.
Have you been secretly wearing lifts and just didn't tell anybody?
Lifts? You know, to make, you know, to make you taller.
Make a perception check, Moot.
That is an 11.
Sully seems closer in your height to you than you do,
like maybe you're just exhausted.
Maybe you're just super tired, but Sully seems like he grew.
Going to, like, hold my hand out and be like,
since did you get bigger?
Well, no, but did I get smaller?
I. What?
I think so.
I and I stand beside him and I do where you put your hand on your head
to match where the other person is.
And whereas before, if you were six feet tall.
Oh, God, how tall am I?
They probably got three feet tall.
Elbow height.
I'm only three foot five.
So I would be like.
Like waist height for you, essentially like half your size.
Now I am more like.
Chest height.
And I'm like, yeah.
Yeah, there's something wrong with either your torso or your legs.
Well, they feel fine.
I felt bad earlier.
Maybe do you think someone like
cursed me or something?
Why, you pissed someone off?
I don't think so.
I mean, I was just roofing all day.
I can't imagine anyone was angry about that.
Well, then I get probably not.
I mean, when people curse people, I mean, it takes a lot.
So I hear and I.
I don't know, like, are you Benjamin Biden?
Younger.
The famous explorer?
I don't think so.
Well, didn't he get younger and younger and he was getting smaller and smaller?
Oh, different, different Benjamin Button.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh huh.
You are you growing backwards?
You two, I assume, continue
at least kind of walking at a slow pace.
You pass by the bakery that you you you love to go.
The Sun and Stars.
That is the name of it, yes.
And you walk up to it and look through the glass
like you usually do before you go in and purchase.
And you are seven inches shorter now.
Yeah, I can.
We we need to go quicker back to the temple.
I needed maybe they can help out with this.
Well, hold on. You're looking at the big goods.
They were just going to leave.
I feel like this me being quite a bit shorter than normal
maybe takes precedent over the croissants.
But it doesn't really seem to be like a life threatening kind of like,
what's so bad about being small?
The door bursts open and the store owner named.
You know, Tom, you've been there so much in their numerous times.
You guys are besties.
Mauritius. Oh, Remy's easier to spell.
That's a better choice. Remy.
What did you say?
I said Mauritius, Remy Mauritius.
His name sounds delicious. It sure does.
Don't spell that. That's how you spell it now.
Remy comes out, he says, Oh, Moot, it's such a pleasure to see you.
We have some new what?
You seem smaller, my friend.
Yeah, I don't know.
Some something happened to me.
Do you know anything about magic?
Usually when people usually when people eat here many times as you,
they don't get smaller. They get wider.
Well, yeah, I mean, I was there for a little bit till I started that roofing job
and then, you know, worked off all those extra turnovers I was eating.
But, you know, it just seemed to be legitimately smaller than before.
Which I don't see why that's a problem, but apparently it's a problem.
But Sully, if you all of a sudden
were seven inches taller than you normally are,
wouldn't you be concerned about that?
Now be fucking ecstatic.
OK, what if you were seven inches shorter than you normally are?
Well, don't even put that out into the atmosphere, man.
Sully starts to look around like someone's going to jump out
and curse him at any moment.
He would be as small as a toadstool.
This is this is creeping in on him.
That's racist. My grandmother was a toadstool.
Well, he would come by it naturally then.
You're coming in for for some for some for some goods.
Can I rain check on the goods?
I got to go figure out what's going on here first.
Can he not rain check on the goods?
Only one chance.
Is the bakery going under if I don't buy something this moment?
This is Moot's usual time.
I mean, perhaps there was something special set.
They'll never know.
Oh, no.
It works.
That's all.
Well, hey there.
Welcome back to the middle.
It's just me, your Dungeon Master, Rush More, here with you this fine day.
A little late getting this together.
We had a big record session for some episodes coming up
with Kyle Claset of Bombarded.
And we can't wait for you to hear those episodes.
Those will be coming up beginning to mid-November.
Looking forward to that.
One thing we want to let you know is that we have a big sale going on
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All our regular shirts, all our designs, all of the things
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But because it's late, that's all I have for you today.
So let's get back to the episode here and find out what's going on
with these crazy new crew kids.
And we will talk to you next week.
Welcome to Very Random Encounters, where we play tabletop RPGs
and randomly determine as much as possible.
Remember playing with Legos and swapping the people's heads and limbs
to create horrid abominations that God forgot?
Our show is what it would be like if those rejected attempts
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We turn the nonsense into a story with a nice message,
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It is a thing that really happened.
Find Very Random Encounters wherever you randomly
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You head off back down the street and you make it back to the temple.
Sully is chasing behind.
I run and like jump and we're eye level and I'm like.
Oh, this is novel.
I hope it never wears off.
You burst through the door and Glim and Kelbus
are are standing there speaking together.
Hi. Hi, guys.
Hi. Look how small he is.
What happened to your friend?
You do. Oh, what happened?
You're you're just a real little guy now, aren't you?
Because I don't know.
Hold on a second.
I don't know what what happened.
I was roofing and I was using my my crab claw
to get some things down and I didn't feel very good.
And then all of a sudden I'm short.
I don't. I wonder if this happens to other people who are roofing.
You know, like maybe it's like an epidemic or something
that happens or roofing too much.
You got roof feet. You got roof feet.
I don't know if that's what they mean.
No, that's fine.
I don't I don't like the sound of this.
Well, did you did you eat anything weird?
Did you get did somebody curse you?
That's what I thought did.
Did you get bit by a spider?
Because sometimes they can do things to you.
I don't remember being bit by a spider and Mootlake starts
like touching his arms and legs to like check for spider bites.
No, I don't I don't I don't feel anything.
Maybe you're just growing backwards.
Yeah, had you considered that you're growing backwards?
I mean, I hadn't I didn't think people could do that.
Does that happen a lot with half orcs?
No, we're always tall.
Well, maybe you're going more to the half than you are to the orc.
I wow.
Fucking deep, man, I have a lot of thoughts that I just don't say.
I think I'm just going to say them.
Tom, how do you want to play this out?
Do you want to roll intelligence to see if you remember
talking to Gabriel about or Gabriel or Layden
about wild magic surges?
I mean, I do remember talking to Gabriel about it and nothing
had happened at that point. Right. OK.
So maybe it's just taking a minute to like
sink in that this is somehow related to that.
Could be initial shock and everything.
Yeah. Maybe roll an intelligence check.
We'll see if it's kind of sinks in during this conversation.
Well, and you don't want to think that you did this to yourself.
It must be a curse.
I bet you but that's an 18 for the intelligence check.
So during the course of this conversation, you're talking about curses
and half orcs becoming more half an orc.
And you as something clicks in your mind,
talking to Gabriel about using magic the way that sorcerers do,
the way that you do and tapping into wild magic
and how there can be adverse side effects.
Wait, guys, do you remember what Gabriel said to me
when we were leaving?
He talked about things can like happen.
Things can come through the wild magic.
No, I'm sorry.
I really I don't I'm not a very good listener.
Well, you might even been sleeping in the cart at that point.
That sounds like me.
Glim, do you do you am I I remember having this conversation.
He said that sometimes like surges can happen.
Maybe that's what happened.
Right. And did he say something about Mala?
Did he say something about what specifically would happen?
Did he mention getting smaller?
No, I think he was deliberately vague about what can happen.
Hmm. Sounds like Gabriel.
I once knew a wizard that did the like the like the voodoo like you do.
And he once he once tried to light a candle on fire
to light a candle on fire, but accidentally brought through a wormling.
And let me tell you, it was crazy because he was inside
and everything his room was trashed.
Kelvis, do you do you know if there's any sorcerers
or magic teachers or anything in town here that maybe I could talk to?
Um, well, or do you know much about magic?
I don't. I don't know a great deal about shrinking,
using magic, especially without knowing.
I mean, there are there are spells as far as I understand how to,
you know, to grow and and shrink individuals.
But yeah, usually that's like the the goal of the spell that is.
Oh, my God. Was it just really cold up on the roof?
No, it was.
It's a nice warm day. It was just hours ago.
I was in a pool.
I mean, there there are sorcerers, there are the school,
the school of wizardry there.
They may be able to help you.
I, yeah, I don't have much else for you, though.
I can. Send hopes and prayers
that your height returns.
I mean, thoughts and prayers don't do too much.
This is three mentions in this episode of like, thoughts and prayer.
It's called thoughts and prayers.
What about what about what about a magic user or a teacher
or a sorcerer or anyone you know of?
Um, sure. Yes.
I mean, I don't I don't know if it will say mean anything,
but I mean, you can just you can just go to to the wizarding school.
They have one of those here.
This is Waterdeep.
This is one of the this is perhaps the largest city in Faerun.
Of course, they have a school of wizardry here.
Idiot. I did not call him an idiot.
So that wasn't that wasn't selling.
Yeah, it sounded nothing like him.
At that moment, Sully Sully got a little quiet.
So you feel a little twang in your side.
Like it's just a sharp pain.
Oh, and we flash back to that morning.
Where do you wake up and what do you do first thing in the morning?
Why wake up in the temple?
Because that is where I'm staying.
This is the question.
Well, I know Sully's not like a like a drunkard going out
and sleeping in the streets.
No, no, he likes a bed or at least like a bedroll.
And he goes out and I think he's a wanderer.
He wanders through the streets.
He stops in shops.
He talks to different people.
He I think he stops infrequently right to see moot
to I think moots, maybe disappointment, I don't know.
But I have a feeling like not as much work gets done.
Oh, I would think no work would get done.
And so he really just spends his days kind of like milling about,
touching shiny stuff.
Only occasionally stealing.
He's really tried to stop that.
This morning, you wake up
and you're getting dressed and ready for the day.
And you kind of reach around.
You got like an itch on your side and you reach back to your side.
And there's a lump there.
What the fuck?
It's about the size of a large marble.
You can't quite see it from your angle.
You kind of get a bit of a reflection in in one of the windows.
There are no mirrors in your room, and it looks a little discolored.
Sully is not impressed.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
New dice, new dice, new dice.
It's exciting.
Oh, fuck, it's a five motherfucker wisdom.
It's a minus one, four.
You you at first, you feel disgusted and like,
where did this come from?
But then as you as you touch it,
you feel a sense of compassion for it.
OK. Well, I'm going to call you Ken.
And I put my clothes on and I go about my day with my buddy, Ken.
And we flashback to Moot getting the information that he needs.
And Kelba says it's El Torchul Academy.
Sorry, I forgot previously.
I don't often frequent there.
It is a magic school of Lord Thesp or El Torchul.
I don't know if you'll be able to get him,
but I'm sure there could be somebody there who would be able to help you.
Magic school of what was his name?
Lord Thesp El Torchul.
El Scorchow? El Scorchow.
El Torchow, like he tortures a lot of people.
All right.
OK, yeah, I guess maybe I should like go there immediately.
If you so desire your height back.
Oh, my gosh, what if you just keep shrinking and shrinking and shrinking?
Well, that's that's honestly a concern.
So I think I should go right now.
Does anyone want to come with or everyone cool here?
Well, I'll come with you.
I think I might be able to help you see the Lord.
I have a noble background, so I have an inn with the Lord.
I thought you had an inn with the Lord.
I mean, I can definitely get you an inn with Bahamad.
I'll tell you a little more about him on our way.
Sorry, he loves you.
He was a bit of a rule breaker. Lord Thesp.
Oh, God. OK, yeah, no, I'll come too.
Um, I have some questions of my own.
And I pet the side of my self.
Still have compassion.
OK, you leave the citadel
or leave the chapel temple, whatever we called it.
I've said them all.
And you head towards she
Kelbus gives you directions to the sea ward of Waterdeep.
And it is on the corner of Ivory and Diamond streets.
And you walk up and the Arcane Academy stands before you.
It's housed at a large villa.
And you step up to it.
There is no gate.
There's a closed door at the top of a large flight of stairs, though.
I like race up the stairs,
open the door.
Did you want to do any Lord talk in the streets?
I cut. I jumped over that.
No, like like any prostitutes in the streets.
Yes. Yeah.
OK, just check it.
I always want to make sure you get your it's your daily, daily five in.
No, no.
I mean, the Zumba class takes care of a lot of my mission work in the morning.
So fair enough. It's pretty, pretty good.
Perfect. Sorry, mood.
Yeah, so I like hustle up those stairs,
not even really caring if they're like right behind me or not.
I kind of throw open the door and head in and say,
is is Lord Thesp here?
Can I can I talk to the Lord Thesp, please?
There is a smaller, older woman
who's seated behind the desk who lets out an audible
as you throw the door open.
Are you Lord Thesp?
Hmm. No, dearie.
I'm not Lord Thesp. What is does no one knock anymore?
Sorry, it's I've had a day.
Oh, me too.
Oh, no. What happened in your day?
Well, this half orc just threw open the door screaming,
get me Lord Thesp.
I think I was just sitting here reading my tales.
But that's well, I skipped over that.
My heart skipped a beat.
That might have been on the please.
Sully, maybe I didn't.
I meant to if I didn't.
Fair enough.
Are you brought friends?
Yeah. Yeah, these are these are my friends.
I'm I'm mood and that's Glim and that's Sullivan slight.
Right. And yeah, I have a little like magic emergency.
Ah, magic emergency.
What is what is your emergency, my dear?
Well, I'm well, Sully, why don't you tell her?
Oh, oh, my.
He's shorter.
He looks perfectly fine to me.
Well, this morning when he left, he was about this much bigger.
And so he holds up his hands about seven inches apart.
Really?
And now he's like not that much bigger.
And he didn't have any issues with like sharp objects?
No, I don't think that he cut any
parts of his body off.
But I mean, I haven't seen him naked.
So I don't know.
No, all my parts are there.
OK, well, he does while magic.
He fucks up to dump it.
Great. I'm a secretary, so I don't really know.
I can't really judge the needs of needs of the you asked.
I did. Well, I'm trying to diagnose before I go.
You said you're just a secretary.
Well, it's good triage.
Triage secretary is what I am.
You have to you have to narrow down what is needed here.
Well, I have a question.
Once you get him sorted out. OK.
Oh, right now. Oh, no, we'll come back to you.
That's fine. Yeah, no, I see.
So what do you want to my my my new friend Moot Moot?
Was it? That's a fun noise.
Yeah, yeah, that's that's the one.
Well, I was wondering if I could I could talk to Lord Thess
because we were over at the Temple of Bahamut
and they figured that he would probably be the good person to talk to
about magic things.
Well, Lord Thasp isn't here right now.
Does he have like
a another person who like teaches here or anything?
We have we have several instructors, instructors here.
Do any of them deal with wild magic?
What about the fun noise?
Right. What about magical side effects?
Would you like me to go find somebody?
Is that would be fantastic.
Yeah. OK. OK. You wait.
You you three wait right here.
OK. She slowly gets up.
Takes her step.
So this is going to be a tiring walk.
Takes another step.
Ma'am, would it be helpful if you could just send one of us
to go fetch someone?
No, no, no, no.
It's my job. OK.
And she slowly walks around the corner.
So I've got this.
Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.
Moot.
She's cleared around the corner.
I mean, it might have just glimpsed right.
It might have just been easier to send us.
Well, I mean, to be fair, we've never been here before.
We have no idea where we're going and we don't know who we're looking for.
So. What if.
But I mean, if she said, hey, it's three doors down on the left.
You're right. We could have handled that.
Yeah, you're right.
You wait a quite a while and she comes back
and says, yes, someone will be right, right out with you.
She slowly walks back to her desk.
Does anyone else want to play Rock, Rock, Sword, Scroll?
You hear.
No, I mean, OK, I knew you would.
You hear footsteps coming down the hall,
coming around the corner, you see a
a taller than Moot male.
He is a dark
tan skin, and he comes into the front entryway
and he says, is it you three who require
assistance of a great magical individual?
Well, it's just it's just me, really.
But yeah, they came along for moral support.
Well, I have my own question, but I mean, let's take care of your height problem first.
So you have a height problem?
Well, yeah, I am.
OK, well, first, hi, I'm Moot.
Yes. And that's Glim and that's.
You're the noise she was making.
Yeah. Yeah, that's the one.
She said it was a fun noise.
She did say it was a fun.
She said there was a fun noise waiting at the front and needed magical assistance.
Perfect. My name is Burko.
Hi, Burko. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
So, Burko, I do.
Oh, well, I have the capability of doing wild magic.
Not well.
Well, I mean, it's been pretty good up to this point,
but you are right about that.
It did not go so well earlier today.
I cast a spell and then didn't feel great after it happened.
And now I'm seven.
Is it seven inches shorter than I was before, Sully?
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah.
That's accurate. OK.
So I was just I was just curious, is this like a permanent thing?
Is this going to wear off? Can you reverse the effects?
I just need information here.
Mm hmm.
Would you call this a.
Debilitating effect.
Well, for reaching things, yeah.
Mm hmm. OK.
Well. I don't.
Hold on.
Let me talk to Fran here for a second.
He goes over and he whispers into her ears.
They look over at you.
That's just.
It's OK.
Well, I mean, we can we can.
I don't know what I can do for you here, friend.
If it is a spell.
Something that has an enlarge or reduce spell, obviously reduce.
Well, yeah, but I.
There's usually a time period in which it reverses.
Sure, but I wasn't casting a spell of that nature.
Mm hmm.
See, if I was casting something in that nature and it, you know,
happened to hit me to great, I understand that.
But this was just like a mage hand.
Right. Right.
Well, I can tell you that I can make you grow.
For a minute.
But I mean, that doesn't really seem like it's going to fix the problem.
No, no, it doesn't, does it?
See, most of the restoration spells
revolve around restoring something, ailing you.
And you, my friend, as far as I know, are exactly as you are supposed to be.
I think he's saying you got to suck it up.
Being short is not a disability.
Again, Sully, I didn't think it was.
It's just not that I don't feel like myself like this.
You know what? Give me, give me a couple of days.
Let me look into perhaps wild magic
and any instances of shrinking of individuals
because of said wild magic and see if I can't find anything
that would flippy the effect.
Is that the technical term?
Sounds super academic.
I am a magic professional.
I've dabbled in academia myself.
But so if we're done with with him,
what do you know about maybe having like a growth on yourself
that you feel like lots of love towards?
I'm not a doctor.
Well, I don't think that it's I don't think it's medical so much as mystical.
Oh, well, if you love it, I mean, that's a bonus.
Well, if it's a growth on you, it might be hard to set it free.
Yeah. Well, it just it just showed up one day.
Again, not a doctor.
Oh, all right.
Do you know where I can find a doctor?
At the hospital.
All right, guys, can we make a pit stop at the hospital?
By the way, there's a growth on my body that I'm quite attached to.
In a non-romantic, more of a platonic love and relationship.
You are a weird bunch.
Just full of problems.
Couple days, they're good moot sound.
Thanks. Thanks, Burko.
Come back and I shall tell you if I can help you or not.
OK, um.
So I guess the hospital.
Thank you both so much.
I've got Zumba out behind the Bahamut Temple.
If you guys want to join me on there every morning, it'd be great to see you.
Oh, you're the Zumba.
Hmm. Interesting.
Hope to see you. Well, I might be there.
Fran might have a hard time.
I will see if I can assist her if she so desires.
I haven't shaken, shaken like that in a long time.
I could probably do it.
All the more reason to come shake it, Fran.
Shaking it right now.
Sully backs away
through the doors and starts down the stairs
to the hospital. Come on, weirdos.
Sully, I'm a bit worried.
How long have you had a growth?
Well, it's just been a couple of days.
It's only this big and he holds up a.
I don't know.
It was like a couple inches across.
I mean, that seems pretty big.
Does it hurt?
Well, I know. And it just kind of came up like.
Well, actually, I think it just was this morning.
Oh, yesterday morning.
I sometimes lose track of time.
Either way, I have very strong feelings towards it,
which is very strange because I don't have strong feelings towards very much.
So I mean, I have a little bit of medical training.
Do you want do you want me to look?
Sure. I lift my.
My shirt to show the side of my torso.
I mean, you can roll medicine.
I rolled a 20.
So you see.
Not so much a lump as you see a bruise,
like a large welt on Sully's side.
And not an incision, but like a wound
that looks like it's rather fresh.
Sully, are you sure this was a lump?
Can you I know it's kind of hard to twist around to see,
but it's not really a lump. It's like.
Like, I don't know, like a welt or a cut, did somebody.
Does somebody shift you like what happened here?
Oh, no, not for years.
Um. I don't know.
I don't recall hurting myself or anything like that.
Nobody's cut me or anything like that.
And I haven't I can't really see it.
So and how do you do you still feel?
Just like a lot of love for it.
Well, yeah, I mean, it must be hard to be a welt
on the side of a small halfling.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Um, we probably should get you to the hospital,
though it doesn't really look good.
Yeah, OK, let's check it out.
If not for my safety, for his.
All the music in today's episode was by Kavin MacLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io.
Thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch, Ryan Cushman,
Joshua Dixon, Devin Michaels, Cat Waterflame, and Jacob Madden.
Find out more at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
Really kind of go steady with Bahamut, really make things serious, you know.
You want to go steady with Bahamut?
You hear footsteps coming down the hall.
Horse footsteps?
Yep. Maybe it's a centaur.
Imagine. Is his name Firenze?
I gave you ducks last time.
You're right.
All right, yeah.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.